For My Mommy

I don't think about you everyday anymore.  It's not that I don't miss you, but I have my own life now...my own family.  I wish you knew the kids.  You would LOVE them!  You already loved E.J. before you left this Earth and I was pregnant with Alison.  You knew of her and only you knew here name.  I thought you couldn't keep a secret?  Well, you proved me wrong.  You knew her name and didn't tell anyone.  She was born just a little over two weeks after you died.  Her eyes are as blue as her Pappaw's and she has freckles.  Who would've thought I'd have a girl with blue eyes & freckles?  And there is Evan.  Oh boy!  He was our surprise baby, yet the one GOD knew we needed.  Our family is complete because of him.

Sometimes I get nostalgic for my college days and tonight I was listening to songs that eventually led me to the Nelly & Tim McGraw song.  This is the song you never heard before you died and Tim was your absolute favorite singer!!!  I remember when he married Faith Hill and you were so mad!  While listening to this song, I get taken back to 2004, the absolute worst year of my life yet it ended with the blessing of a precious baby girl.

I miss you, Mom...not everyday, but when I do it is so deep that it brings tears to my eyes.  There are so many things you missed.  There are so many new lives you didn't get to meet.  There are places you could have visited.  In the end though, you are at peace.  You battled demons that affected your Earthly relationships and now you can rest.

I LOVE YOU.  Thank you for giving me life and for being the best Mom & Dad you knew how.  If you don't mind, close your eyes.  DO IT!  Now pretend you are hugging me.  I will do the same.  I can still feel you skinny body in my arms.  I am happy the sense of touch never fades even if I don't remember the sound of your voice.